How I became a merman
I expect that you want to become a merperson, and want to know how I became one, right? Well, this is how it happened for me. I was born in Florida and didn't move to Tennessee until I was ten, so I was able to go swimming all the time. I loved it. Swimming is a huge part of me. I guess that's what partly pushed me to look up growing a fish tail. After I moved to Tennessee, I was able to handle the lack of the ocean cuz we had a pool. But then we moved again, and didn't have a pool. That was when I was fifteen. I was feeling terrible at that point. I NEEDED water. There are rivers and lakes and stuff around, but you can only get to them in summer, and unlike at my old house that had a heated pool and in Florida, they're too cold outside summer, so I needed to find a way to be able to go to them. Solution? I looked into sea-beings. I thought being a selkie would be cool, but there aren't seals around here, so that wasn't a hot idea. That was when I started thinking about merfolk. I've always had an interest in them. Not obsessive like some of the mermaid sites I've come across, but enough that I started to consider trying to get a tail. I went on the net and looked at some of the sites...they just weren't believable to me. They used ideas from the show H2O (which is okay, but not something I'm really into since it's for girls) and also from Daughters of the Sea (I read the first one, Hannah, but I don't have the tolerance to read that much), which alerted me to the fact that these people are probably just pulling stuff from wherever they can find it...kinda like the 'werewolves' do with the full moon, Twilight, Underworld, and all that stuff. Mostly I just found people (girls, not many guys) whining about how they would try the spells on sites and nothing would happen, or they wanted a tail, or someone had a tail but never posted pics, or it was obviously fake. It was hard to believe anyone. There's so much different information that it's hard to say what is right and wrong, real or fake. Like for the spells, I guess you can create your own spell to become a mermaid like some people. It might work if you really put all your desires, your heart and soul into it, and give it your all, but it doesn't look like anyone has had success from what I've seen, but I could be wrong.
So, finding nothing good, I left the internet. I thought I'd give my local library a try. My school library didn't have anything, but my local library has older books. I came across one from the 40s or 50s...I don't remember exactly when, and sadly I don't remember the title (actually, it's the author I should try to remember, since there are so many books with mermaid in the title, but anyway, I tried searching the net and can't seem to find it). That was two years ago, after all. Why don't I go back and get it? It was super old and about to fall apart. When I returned it, the librarian and I talked about it for a few minutes, and she said it was probably time to retire that book. I haven't seen it since then. The librarian told me that she really did pull it from the shelf since it was so old.
Anyway, It had basic info on mermaids, stories and stuff, but there was something that surprised me. It was a spell or ritual of sorts to turn a human into a mermaid. The problem was, the book didn't give exact directions. It was vague, but made me think that maybe if I threw something together from the information, something might happen.
(Will this work for everyone? I don't know, and it isn't my fault if it doesn't. If it doesn't, you're doing it wrong, not trying hard enough, or maybe you're just not meant to be a merperson, OR it simply won't work for you. I can TRY to help you, but I'm not claiming that I can personally turn you into a mermaid.)
The book said that (remember that I improvised on some of this because the book was vague)...
1. I needed to do the spell in the ocean, or somewhere with salty water. I opted for a bathtub with sea salt (I bought some at the store up the street easily).
2. If you're not at the ocean, then make it seem like you're at the ocean. Sounds, smells, stuff like that. I didn't know how to really do that, but my mom had one of those things to help you sleep that makes various sounds, so I jacked that and set it on waves.
3. Prepare- set everything up. I did that, ran a bath, set the sounds.
4. Then it said to sit in the tub (well, the ocean, actually, but again I had to improvise) and submerge myself as much as possible, draw my legs together (which a lot of sites say) and fall into a trance, or meditate, or whatever you want to call it. Basically, feel yourself become one with the ocean, or the pretend-ocean that you have around you. Feel the waves, the tides, smell the salt, and connect with the ocean life, etc...since I was in a tub, I imagined myself in the Gulf of Mexico where I used to swim, feeling the ocean across all that space, being with the ocean not as a person but as the water itself, becoming one with the ocean and no longer being human. I asked the ocean to change me, to help me become something that would be able to swim anywhere, to tolerate any sort of water and temperature. I imagined myself still one with the ocean, but my body became a merman's body. Well, it was still my body, but I had a tail. I didn't come up with a color, I just let whatever happen. I started to swim through the ocean, seeing the life around me, breaching and seeing the vast expands of it all around me, and feeling its power underneath me.
I sent my longing and desires to the ocean, and eventually...I don't know how long it took. I felt something happening to my legs, but cuz I was in a trance I didn't totally feel it. But...
5. Pull yourself from the trance! It was hard to do, eventually I felt myself losing concentration or something, pulling away from the ocean. I slowly started to come to, opening my eyes. I didn't feel anything weird at first, but my legs were feeling kinda cramped. I made to move them and they moved together. When my eyes finally opened, I saw what I had been wanting. I'll admit that I was really in shock and couldn't believe it had worked. But then I realized shit, am I stuck like this?! Anyway, I was looking at a fish-like tail, the typical thing when you think of merfolk, but it's a tail that moves in a mammalian way, like a dolphin. It's a pretty sort of shiny brown, darker at my tail fin and getting lighter where it gets close to changing back to skin at the waist. It isn't as huge as I thought it'd be- it's basically just my legs fused into a tail, with fins coming off the end, which were jammed against the front of the tub on the faucet.
6. Don't freak out. I sat like that for a while, but I had to get out of there. I remembered that apparently if you dry off you'll grow legs again. I drained the tub and dragged myself out. Not fun. Luckily the towels were in reach so I dried myself off...and a few seconds after I was dry, I witnessed my tail changing back to legs. SERIOUSLY witnessed such a thing! Not for the faint of heart! My scales went back into my skin, and my fins just seemed to disappear. It seems more like a physical transformation than a magical one, but to be honest, I don't like looking at it happen, so I haven't tried to figure it out.
And that was what the book went over, with my experiences thrown in. Seems easy, if you have access to certain resources. As for me, it was time to see if I could go swim in a cold lake or river.
Long story short, I found out that it was kind of a bad idea. There's the Mississippi River nearby, so I thought I'd go give it a shot. Not a good idea by any means. For one it's a busy river and pretty muddy, but I wasn't thinking at the time. I biked there early in the morning on a Saturday when my parents were at work, so no one would see me. I got lucky that no one was around, found some trees that would hide me, and went in. The transformation was fast, and I found that I was able to swim against the current with ease. It was amazing. It was hard to figure out how to swim right at first, but after a couple minutes I was swimming against the current and trying to keep myself from getting too far from my stuff. I could be underwater for longer than I thought a human could survive, but the thing was that the cold water was still taking a toll on me. I gave up after ten minutes and dragged myself back to the trees, and dried myself off. I was shivering. Conclusion: merfolk are NOT made for the cold! We are strictly ocean beings made for warm water. (Well, we can go in fresh water too, at least since we aren't in the water 100% of the time and don't have to acclimate between salt and fresh water. That's what I think, anyway.)
So...all my work had been for nothing.
Yeah, I regret it sometimes. To think I have this power and can only use it in summer sucks. So, to the people thinking they can be free or whatever by doing this...no. It's not happening unless you live by the ocean and can run away from home without giving a single shit about what you're leaving behind. (That isn't my aim, but it is for some people.) Being a merperson isn't about being pretty or being able to play with the dolphins or something like that. It's about SWIMMING, the ocean, the water, that home versus the land. For me, I'm stuck in Tennessee until I can move to Florida again. Not a total loss, but for now it is. :/ (That isn't to say it sucks and don't do it, cuz it's only a temporary sucking!)
Anyway, so what do I do since I can't swim like I want to? I wait for the summer. I don't HAVE to be in the water just cuz I'm a merman, but it helps since there's a reason why I became one! Sadly we don't have a pool still and probably won't get one, but there's a lake close to my house that I can now drive to. I spend a lot of time there in the summer, but when it cools down I don't even bother. My family went to Florida for vacation last year and I managed to go off on my own in the ocean where no one could see me (otherwise I stayed out of the water because people would see the tail, although some might think it's just fake cuz there are people with mermaid costumes at the beach sometimes). I took off with my tail and no one around, diving down with all the sea life...it was amazing. I still had to watch out for dangers like sharks, but it was still something I want to go back to. It really made me want to run away, but I didn't, of course. I hope I can move back as soon as possible. I would do anything right now to move back to Florida and go to the ocean. The yearning for the ocean and where I used to live really hurts, but I've gotten over it...although sometimes it gets really hard to ignore.
Yes, I AM happy with what I've done, but until I can get to a place where I can always swim, things kinda suck.